The Day I almost went swimming… with the fishes
I have enjoyed fishing from an early age, although I did not go much until I became an adult and did not have to work all the time. I was not forced to work, but took every job that came my way for a bit of spending change. When I went to work and had a steady income, it was possible to take a bit of time to do some recreational things.
One of the places that I used to fish was over an hour away, but it was a pleasant drive and offered easy access by car. There was not a lot of walking and the catch was rewarding. The size of the trout was good and the numbers nice as well. When I was working shift work, there would be times when I would drive up after working all night and do a bit of fishing, if you can call it that. I would bait my hook and there were times when I actually missed fish because of having fallen asleep. Sure, it was nice to catch fish, but the joy of being in the out of doors was a special treat in itself.
Often my companion would be my dog Baron von Mocha, the wonder dog. He was most often my companion on hunting trips, but was good on fishing trips too. The outings were nice since he would not wander off requiring me to make a panicked search for him when it came time to leave.
Other times I would go with friends. We enjoyed getting out and there was the challenge of seeing who would catch the first fish, the most fish or the largest. Normal stuff, but the fun was just being with friends in the great out of doors.
There were special stories that we would have lots of fun reminiscing about. I remember one day the fish were not biting and in the spirit of fun, said I ought to pray to the gods (little g) for a fish. About that time, the water came alive with a large trout jumping out of the water. I rushed to my rod but he got away. One of my friends said quite nonchalantly, “The lord giveth and the lord taketh away” a take on the book of Job (1:21). I guess I deserved that one and am thankful that however it is spelled, god did not strike me in the behind with a bolt of lightning for saying that.
On one particular day when it was not fit for man nor beast to be outside, three of us went fishing. It was cold, the wind was blowing. You could even feel little pieces of ice as it flew into your ear canal. I was young and foolish. Did I mention foolish, with a capital fool? Anyway it did not seem so bad since I had discovered a remedy for the cold, the life giving elixir called mead, a honey wine. The old saying goes that God protects babies and fools. I certainly was not a baby so I guess the choices are limited.
At one point, I decided to change locations and with the courage of the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz, and the intellect of a marshmallow, I stepped onto the ice. It seemed like it ought to be thick enough since it was covered with several feet of snow. If it had not been so cold, viewing a video (which was unheard of in those days) of this incident would have been hilarious, but it was me and it was as anyone looking at the conditions would know, cold as the North Pole.
I found myself in water up past my knee, and without the benefit of my hip waders. Being the brave idiot that I have to admit I was, I retreated to the car, followed by my less adventurous but wiser companions. In the car, I took off my wet pants and put them out of the window. Even with the temperatures below freezing, ice sublimes. That is goes from ice to the gaseous stage without going through the liquid phase, but my pants froze and started to beat against the car as we started the trip home.
I was thankful for two things. One was that the car had a heater and two that we did not get stopped by the Highway Patrol and I have to explain why in such cold temperatures I am sitting in the back of a car in my underwear.
Had I been alone or if not for the divine protection of idiots, I may have been swimming with the fishes, at least until spring.
Young people sometimes wonder why us old codgers are always warning them about doing stupid stuff, forgetting that although we are older than dirt that we too were young once, but fortunate enough to have made it to be able to tell them that what they are about to do just ain’t right.
That is one stunt that I don’t think I will miss not repeating. Some people get older and wiser, some only get older. Hopefully I am a member of the former group.